


Sorry seems to be the hardest word

by qeedivertido



Category: Ylvis
Genre: AU No Wives No Kids, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-03-24
Updated: 2015-04-15
Packaged: 2018-03-19 09:02:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3604296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/qeedivertido/pseuds/qeedivertido
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Calle gets some good news that help him get his mind out of what happened with Bård. But then Vegard has news that help do the opposite.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Good news

**Author's Note:**

> OK. This is my first time even writing Ylvis. I promised myself I wouldn't dab in RPF anymore, but what the heck, I like it and I love Balle and there's not enough of it sooooo, I'm helping. I hope it's, at least, acceptable.
> 
> I think I might write more, because, let's face it, the story needs a happy ending! 
> 
> But (isn't there always a "but") I'm notoriously bad with two very imortant things: finishing stories AND happy endings. I mean, my last (and only, because I know myself) chaptered fic only had two chapters and I haven't written anymore since 2013. And, I was talking to a friend two days ago and we noticed that only 16% of my stories are happy... so yeah. I don' usually write sad fics, only my originals are absolutely terrible, so that's something I guess?
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy this attemp. I'll shut up now.
> 
> No, wait. Almost forgot to say the most important thing. I'm really new to the fandom. I mean, up until december of last year I thought "What does the fox say?" was the internet being obssessed with Dora the Explorer (don't lynch me, I found out about Ylvis eventually). So this version of events is definitely NOT what happened, or even remotely similar to how it happened (even by the vaguest of assoiations) but I don't really care because this is a work of fiction in no way representing the true lives of anyone mentioned here.

Calle hanged up after saying goodbye to Anders. He had just received the most wonderful news: Raske Menn were getting back together. And for a TV show, no less. One hour a week, for a whole season, all about their material. It was going to be hell, but the good kind of hell. Calle couldn't wait.

-

They started meeting two days after that phone call. It was actually way too early to do anything about anything, but they were so excited they decide to make and early start. Øyvind even turned up to the first meeting with three pages of new ideas, and Anders and Calle weren't far behind.

There was an awful lot of work to do, but they were eager to do it. They met almost every day and they shared a constant string of messages when they ween't together.

You would think all this work affected their personal lives, but all three men were masters at balancing by now. Øyvind never failed to take his wife out on date night. Anders brought his daughter to meetings where they discussed the more tame ideas while he played with her and even helped with her homework. And Calle, well, Calle liked to say he had no one to worry if he vanished for a few days, so he could devote every waking second to this project. But that wasn't exactly true, and he was about to be reminded.

-

**Text from Vegard:**

> **"Calle, buddy, can we meet? Got fantastic news!! :) "**

Getting that simple text from Vegard made Calle realise he hadn't spoken to his old friend since filming for IKMY had finished. He felt a little guilty until he remembered Vegard hadn't made any attempt to contact him before now either. Bård hadn't tried to reach him in a while either. Since the party actually, but Calle made the choice every day to not dwell on that.  _I'm sorry._ That's not to say he succeeded.

He quickly texted Vegard back, telling him where and when to meet. He went back to brainstorming with Anders and Øyvind when he realised he had yet to tell the Ylvisåker brothers Raske Menn would be back for the autumn.

**Text from Calle:**

> **"** **I've actually got news myself. Can't wait to see you."**

He was about to write "Can't wait to see you two.", but Vegard hadn't said anything about Bård joining them.  _I'm sorry._ But he probably wouldn't.

"If Carl Frederick is done staring at his phone like a teenager with his first crush, maybe we can resume our work." Anders voice cut through his thoughts.

Both his friends were staring at him and laughing slightly.

"It's nice to see that even while working so hard you can find time to mock the most delicate member of this group." Calle voice was dripping with the sarcasm he was so good at and he was rewarded with a pillow to the face, thrown, with great accuracy, by Øyvind.

Returning to the conversation, Calle managed to slightly forget about the meeting with Vegard while Anders made his case about why he should be the crane and Øyvind the bee.

-

The next day he met Vegard at a coffee shop four blocks from Calle's house. He would've told his friend to come to his house, but they had been having most of the brainstorming meetings there and it was a proper mess Calle was too tired to clean.

Vegard hadn't offered to meet at his house either. The house he temporarily shared with Bård. The house where Bård would most probably be in. Vegard hadn't offered. Maybe he had other reasons, maybe it was completely inconsequential and Calle shouldn't be thinking about it.  _I'm sorry._ He couldn't help but think about it.

By the time Calle arrived at the coffee shop, Vegard was already there. He was sitting at a table in the back with a steaming cup already in front of him. Calle went to the counter to order himself a coffee before joining his friend.

He took advantage of the time it took him to do this to mentally prepare himself. He couldn't believe he even had to do this. Vegard had been his friend for a very long time, long before he even met Bård. They could have a conversation without mentioning him. And that's what they'd do. Vegard would share his news. Calle would share his. They would catch up and then be on their way.  _I'm sorry._

He took his coffee and went to join his friend. His phone vibrated in his pocket. Øyvind or Anders probably had a new idea, but that could wait.

"Are you humming Kjempeform?" Calle's voice startled Vegard but he quickly stood up to hug his friend, nearly knocking Calle's cup of coffee from his hands.

"Buddy! Long time no see."

"I don't think it's been that long."  _I'm sorry._

"I've missed you, though." Vegard's smile was infectious and Calle had no reason to fight it. His phone vibrated again.

"I've missed you too, you big dork." Vegard laughed and Calle knew he wasn't lying. Maybe he had been trying to avoid Vegard as well as Bård -  _I'm sorry_ \- but he shouldn't do that anymore. "So come on, what are those fantastic news you hasd to share?"

"Diving right into it, eh?" Vegard said, smile still firm in his face. Calle would never tell him this but he had a lovely smile. Chipmunk-like, but lovely nonetheless. Definitely no more avoiding.

"No use delaying it. Come on, I'm on the edge of my seat."

Vegard laughed again before sobering up somewhat. He leant forward, mock conspiratorially. "So, next week we are officially," he paused, Calle thought for dramatic effect, "starting meeting for the next season of IKMY!" He finished with excitement. "Our baby is growing up."

Calle laughed geniunely happy. "Congratulations." He thought Vegard's smile was so blinding it could make him forget Ylvis included Bård as well.  _I'm sorry._

"Thank you. We are very excited." He took a sip of his drink and promptly burnt his tongue. "Dammit! Anyway, why don't you tell me your big news and then we can discuss when we'll meet to brainstorm for the new season."

A burnt tongue did nothing to diminish Vegard's smile, but Calle couldn't find it as reassuring anymore. His phone vibrated for a third time. The idea had to be either very good or so rubbish the guys were laughing about it together.

"You want me back?" Calle's voice sounded small, even to his own ears. He couldn't find the strength to look up from his cup of coffee but he could still feel Vegard's smile shrinking.

"Of course we do, why wouldn't-"

"I can't." Vegard stopped talking immediately. "I mean. That's my news. This autumn Raske Menn is doing their own TV show. We got the news a few weeks ago, maybe a month. It really has been long since we last talked."  _I'm sorry._ "And I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, I didn't really think you'd want me for another season after... The shows gonna be on at eight. Did I tell you? It's a really weird thing to know this early on, but Anders insisted-"

Vegard's hand on his arm effectively stopped his babbling and finally made him look up from his coffee.

His friend was smiling gently at him. No longer as bright, no longer as happy. But gentle and reassuring. He had missed Vegard.  _I'm sorry._

"Congratulations to you and the guys." Vegard said, sounding genuinely happy.

"You're not mad?" Calle hated how much he sounded like an insecure child right now.

"Of course I'm not mad, you big dummy!" Vegard laughed slightly and his smile managed to regain some of its brightness. "I mean. I'm sad we won't be working together for another season. But I'm really happy for you guys. You deserve it, you're amazing!"

Calle had never been so grateful for anyone in his life. He thought that if everything were to go horribly wrong -  _I'm sorry_ \- everything would be fine if he managed to hold on to Vegards friendship.

They talked for two more hours and four cups of coffee before Calle had to leave to meet Anders and Øyvind at his place. they made a promise to not let the busy schedules that awaited them prevent them from meeting as often and went their separate ways.

Two blocks from his house, Calle's phone vibrated a fourth time, reminding him of all the text messages he had yet to read. He had to meet them before meeting with the guys so he would know what they were talking about, so he fished his phone out of his pocket. He had four un-read messages, but not from Øyvind or Anders.

**Text from Bård:**

> **"Have you met with my brother yet?"**

****Text from Bård:** **

> **"I guess you have since you aren't answering."**

****Text from Bård:** **

> **"At least I hope that's why."**

****Text from Bård:** **

> **"I'm really looking forward to working with you."**

 

 

 

_I love you._

_I'm sorry._


	2. Pizza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The one where I didn't actually write any fall out to the texts...oops?  
> But Vegard and Calle meet again and not talk about anything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK, I'm really starting to feel that, for a Balle fic, there's a very noticeable Bård shaped hole in this story. He's coming. I swear.
> 
> Also, I have no idea how TV works in Norway, or in my own country for that matter so... SUSPENSION OF DISBELIEF or whatever. Thanks you, that was all.
> 
> Oh, briefest of drug mention. Just, warning.

After so many months Bård finally decided to make contact? After months of radio silence, admittedly on both parts, Bård  decided to send a text? And a text like that, no less. Like nothing had happened.  _I love you._ Nothing. After so many months.

Calle didn't answer any of the four texts. There was no point, anyway. Veard would've told Bård all about their meeting. Vegard would've told Bård that Calle wasn't joining them.

Bård didn't text again. That meant he didn't care, so Calle wouldn't care either.  _I love you._

-

The autumn season was still far away but things for the show were already half-cooked. It should be reassuring but it made Calle anxious. They still had at least two momths before they would start filming and Calle knew that in that time he was more than capable of starting to hate their material. Øyvind, expecting this insecurities, never failed to mention, at least once a week, how he could always fill ten pages of new material in one night. Calle knew that to be true; what he couldn't say for sure was if Øyvind said solely to reassure him or to show-off. Either way, he did appreciate it.

Seven days after the texts - which is how Calle was counting time, whether he acknowledged it or not- they were working at Anders' house. Up until them the ideas had been flowing aplenty. The had made necessary adjustments to five sketches and done a first reading of the last script Øyvind had finished. (It had come to him the night before during dinner with his wife. He made himself wait until he finished eating to write it down, but the idea hadn't suffer from it.) They were due for a break.

They heat was suffocating so they had been working in the yard. Haing stopped for a break, Calle lit himself a cigarette and let him mind wander. He had missed this. Working with Anders and Øyvind was one of his favourite things in the world. They were so good together, always feeding form each other, even in this early stages. It was so different from his work with Ylvis. Here he was an equal partner, He, together with Øyvind and Anders, was Raske Menn. It was an intrinsical part of him.

This is not to say he didn't enjoy working with Ylvis. It was just different. The brothers were great, funny and intelligent. They worked well together with Calle. But Ylvis and Calle Hellevang-Larsen would forever be separate things. But none of that didn't matter. Even if he hadn't been busy that autumn, Calle doubted working with Ylvis had been a real option, not after what had happened. No. But Calle had Raske Menn and now Ylvis would find a new sidekick.  _I'm sorry._ It was for the better, really.

 

"Calling back Mr. Hellevang-Larsen! Calling back to earth!" Øyvind's voice brought Calle back from his, rather depressing, thoughts. "Man, it feels like we have to bring you back from Jupiter every five minutes these days."

"Sorry. You're so dull I had to tune out so I wouldn't die of boredom."

Anders cluteched a hand to his chest in mock horror. "You mean you don't find our company as _delightful_ as we find yours?" He said in a high pitched voice that made Calle and Øyvind burst out laughing.

"Children, children!" Øyvind intervened after he had gotten his laughter under control. "Seriousness, please. We do have a song to write."

"A song?" asked Calle, only then noticing the guitar Anders was holding.

"Wow. You were really out of it. What the hell where you thinking about?" Anders didn't look like he was expecting an actual answer and Calle was grateful he didn't have to voice his  thoughts,

"Anders thought we could write some song for the show."

"Sounds perfect. I call dibs on the triangle."

-

**Text from Vegard:**

> **"Buddy! Wanna meet? I'm coming to your place if you're cooking ;)"**

**Text from Calle:**

> **"Another meeting so soon? Vegard Ylvisåker, do you miss me?"**

**Text from Calle:**

> **"I'm cooking. White rice but I'm cooking. Come over tonight."**

**Text from Vegard:**

> **"I'm bringing beer See you soon!"**

**Text from Vegard:  
**

> **"Ps Please make something more exciting than white rice"**

**Text from Calle:**

> **"Fuck you."**

**-**

Five hours later, Calle opened his house door to Vegard covered head to toe in flour.

Vegard looked him up and down with slight shock. Finally he said "Should we stage an intervention?" trying to supress a smile.

"If you don't quit being a smart-ass I won't share my drugs with you." Vegard laughed and Calle finally moved aside to let him pass. "In you come." But as Vegard put one foot inside, Calle's arm went up to block his path. "Wait! First show me the promised beer or you're not welcome here."

Vegard laughed again and lifted the beers he was carrying. "Here they are, you crazy lunatic."

"Then, in you come." Calle said once more, romeving his arm and finally closing the door behind Vegard.

They went to the kir¡tchen where the brunett took the bottle opener and opened two of the beers. "Feel right at home." Calle muttered but didn't repeat when Vegard handed him one of the bottles with a questioning look. He didn't really mind anyway. Not too long ago he thought he would inevitably loose touch with both brothers.  _I'm sorry._ But his friendship with Veard was still real, and that would have to be enough.

"So, what's with all the flour?" Asked Vegard after taking a long swig of his beer.

"I made pizza."

"Wat, from scratch?" At Calle's nod Vegard let out a low whistle. "Man, I'm in for a treat. I knew I should come here."

There was Vegard's infectious smile again; Calle was powerless to resist. He laughed slightly. "The first one should be coming out of the oven in ten minutes."

"First one? How many did you make?"

"Too many, unfortunately. But I froze most of them, so we'll only be eating two."

"If I'd known you'd be cooking this much I would've brought Bård with me." Vegard's smile was still in place but his eyes were serious, searching Calle's face for a reaction.

But Calle was a profesional. He was a good actor, always had been. Greatest poker-face in all of Bergen. Vegard used to say that, he should know better than to try to catch him off guard. He had known to be ready for any mentiong of the younger Ylvisåker. He was.  _I love you._

"Maybe next time." Vegard said while trying to catch Calle's eyes, who had turned to check on the pizza.

"Yeah, maybe." Calle finally turned around and locked eyes with Vegard.

As a kid, Calle had always loved staring contests. He never lost, not once. He had always been one hundred percent confident in his ability to not blink first. But right then and there, with Vegard looking right into his eyes, he wasn't so sure. In the end, Vegard looked away first, but Calle still felt like he had lost.

"So, how's the new Raske Menn going?"

Calle was more than happy for the change of topic, but realising he had been holding his breath only made him feel more pathetic.  _I love you._

"Really good, actually. I'm excited and...well, happy. I don't know, I feel like I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop," He didn't mean to be so honest, but he knew Vegard wouldn't judge him "but I'm happy. I can't wait for people to see it."

"That's really good! But you should say it with more conviction." At Calle's questioning glance he added "That you're happy. It's a good thing. And there is no other shoe. It's gonna be great. Trust me."

"Yeah, you're right."  _I'm sorry._ "Things are looking up."

"How do you mean?"

"Nevermind, ignore me. Come on, the pizza's done."

-

They ended up devouring the two pizzas and finishing off all the beers Vegard had brought.

Call was sitting on his living room floor with his head pillowed on the sofa chair behind him and his feet under the coffee table. His eyes were closed. "Maybe I should've cooked the other pizzas as well?"

"No." Came Vegard's voice from where he was sprawled on the couch. He was face donw and Calle was very tired -and, inexplicably, still covered in flour- so he had to strain to hear his friend. "Dying. Pizza overflow." He made a couple more sounds, probably just whimpers, but Calle couldn't know for sure. He did, however, elect to laugh instead of worry. "You're a cruel, cruel man."

"Last I checked, no one forced you to wolf down all that pizza. This is all on you, buddy."

"I'm the one that calls you 'buddy', buddy." Vegard had managed to lift his head from the couch so he couldn't be feeling too bad. "And you're gonna kick me out in the streets to die."

"With a stomach full of pizza and beer. No better way to go if you ask me." Calle could feel Vegard's eyes on him so he opened his eyes. His friend was sporting the biggest wet puppy eyes he had ever seen. "Agh! Fuck you. Fine! You can stay. You're sleeping on that couch and you don't get any blankets."

"Thanks you! You're the bestest friend ever." Vegard's smile almost made Calle reconsider his refusal to share one of his blankets. Almost.

"I'm oing to bed." He was almost out the door when he heard Vegard call his name. He turned around but a big part of him was thinking of how comfortable his bed would be.

"What happened with you and Bård?"

Calle seriously considered turning around and ignoring his friend. He wanted to be in bed. He had a very huggable pillow. He felt like he need it right now. "Maybe you should ask your brother."

Vegard sat up. He suddenly looked too awake, too ready for a long and tiresome conversation. A conversation Calle definitely wanted to avoid. He needed his pillow. Or maybe he needed to run away. He was fast, Vegard would never be able to catch him. Nevermind he would be leaving his own house, he could buy a new one.

"I did ask him. You don't think i would? I see my brother moping around the house all day. He looks so miserable. And I know it has to do with you because...I just know! Not that any of you actually wants to talk to me about anything. God forbid!" Vegard had gotten progressively more agitated but suddenly all the fight had run out of him. Calle felt like that sometimes, like he had nothing more to give.  _I love you._ "I asked him, but he won't say anything. So I'm asking you. I want to help, but I need to know what happened."

Vegard had always had an honest face. As kids it had helped them get out of trouble more than once. As adults, right that very moment, Calle hated it.

"Has it occurred to you that if Bård hasn't said anything, maybe it's because there's nothing to say?" He saw Vegard's face crumble and knew he had given up. Some part of him wished his friend had pushed harder. "Good night, Vegard." With that, he turned off the lights and left the room.

When his alarm went off the next day, he felt like he hadn't slept at all. His pillow was wet.

_I love you._

_I'm sorry._

_I can't._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I like Pornosangen, sue me.


	3. Intermission: Six months

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a little Bård-POV snippet.

He's meeting Calle again. Yes, it's for work, someone has to tell Calle they want him to do film a trailer for the second season of their show. Bård just wishes he could be the one to tell him. Though not really. Maybe Magnus could do it. That seems like a writer's job, not Vegard's. But it's not just a job. It's Calle and it's Vegard. It won't ever be just a job.

Six months ago it happened. Six months. It sure as hell didn't take Calle long to move on. Bård just wishes he could move on too. Imagine if he had said yes, would that have been enough to stop what was happening now? He knows Calle would never hurt him, but maybe he wouldn't have been able to stop himself.

He did right. He just hopes it didn't hurt so much.

Six months and Calle's self-professed love for him is gone. It couldn't have been so strong to begin with, could it?

He knew this would happen. He just did. Given the choice between him and Vegard, who in the world would chose him? Calle certainly didn't.

He needs to move on. It'll never be just a job ever again. It's Vegard and it's Calle. He needs to learn to live with it, to be okay with it. Yes, the man he loves is dating- no, the man he _loved_. Past tense. He needs to learn to say that. Fake it 'till you make it, isn't that what they say?

Six months. Maybe in another six months he won't feel this bad. Maybe he'll be able to look his brother in the face and not feel like crying. Maybe in six months he will be able to breathe properly. Maybe in six months.

_I love you._

_I'm sorry._

_I can't._

_It's fine._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...yeah. Really short, I know, but I feel like we're getting somewhere.
> 
> I'm currently very mad at the Calle in this story, so I should probably hold on on getting back to him. (Cause next chapter we are [most probably, but I can't say for sure because I haven't written anything] oing back to following Calle's side of the story). But it's coming! Eventually.


End file.
